I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
