Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
