And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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