O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
