What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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