My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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