last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
