Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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