It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
