We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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