I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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