Tell her she can't have a vagina
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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