I want to make a zoo with you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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