Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
