I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
