What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
