Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
