my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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