Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
