hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You should frame my arrest warrant.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
