This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
