Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Who died my cat blue again?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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