Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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