need another drink. this is the easiest way
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
