You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
