Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The power of my boobs compel you
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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