I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We are two peas in an std pod
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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