tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
