So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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