I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
