it was like his penis was on wheels.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize