But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
