I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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