I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
