Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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