I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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