His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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