I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
