I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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