Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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