I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
