don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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