He uses pillows to masturbate.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize