we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
