So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
