I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
