i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
