we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
