Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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