On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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