Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
