Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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