Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
