I don't usually arrange sex via text message
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
