I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
