She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
