spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
