you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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