Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
