Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
