it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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