Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
