playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
