I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
